How to Actually be More Feminine

Femininity Is Not a Costume—It's an Inner Reality

In an age where femininity is often distilled into aesthetics—soft dresses, glossy lips, and curated poise—many women are unknowingly performing a version of femininity rather than embodying it. The mistake? Turning femininity into a costume. Girl, let's talk about it.

Let’s be clear: the external matters. How we speak, carry ourselves, and present our beauty to the world is not insignificant. These are powerful tools of expression. But without the internal alignment—without the deeper work of reconnecting with our feminine strengths—what we display becomes a hollow performance rather than a radiance that flows from within.

In Wifey School, we explore how to bridge this divide, helping women tap into the truth of their feminine power—not just the image.

The Power of Softness

We begin by embracing the qualities so often misunderstood or undervalued: softness, beauty, and grace. These are not weaknesses to be fixed or traits to be buried beneath productivity and perfectionism. Softness is a source of strength. When a woman allows herself to lean into grace rather than grit, she becomes magnetic, not diminished.

The Art of Receiving

One of the most transformative principles we explored was the joy of receiving—a radical concept in a world that glorifies control. Letting go of the reins doesn't mean weakness—it means trust. Trust in yourself, in life, and often, in your partner. Femininity flourishes when it makes space for support. It requires a surrender that is conscious and confident.

Feminine Power Redefined

Many women feel a quiet dissonance between their outer appearance and their inner experience. We discussed Dr. Laura Schlessinger's view that feminine power doesn’t come from trying to mirror masculine energy—it comes from honoring the influence that is uniquely ours. Femininity doesn’t dominate; it invites. It nurtures. It moves mountains not by force, but by presence.

Going Beyond the Surface

I will give you part of the homework I give on this day of Wifey School: Identify one trait you want to grow. List the ways in which you are feminine.

In our group discussion, one truth emerged again and again: femininity isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s not something we perform; it’s something we return to.

So yes, wear the dress. Speak gently. Embrace the rituals of beauty if they bring you joy. But don’t let those things define your femininity. Let them reflect it.

Because when your femininity is grounded in truth, it’s not a costume. It’s who you already are. And 1 Peter 3:3-6 tells us that femininity and beauty are not just our external features and display.