How to not lose your mind (as a woman)

If it's not the stress from the job, or the man, or the children, it is the frustration of not having enough time to even THINK in peace. 

Did I hit the nail on the head?

Listen, I know people are exhausting and the world feels demanding, but I want you to understand something: you do not have to let people make you crazy. And I did say "let" because that is EXACTLY what you are doing. You are allowing them to drive you insane...for free!

Every time you take the bait and shout. Every time you get annoyed and argue. Every time you start spiraling, you are taking the bait. And it is making you crazy.

So how do you stop?

It really is simple. Control what you can, and stop trying to control what you can't. I said it was simple, but it is not easy. 

We struggle with letting go of control because we worry that everything will fall apart. And maybe it will, but what is that YOUR problem? Have you ever asked yourself why you seem to be more invested than everyone else? Why things seem to only both you and get under your skin? It might be because you are so busy trying to control the outcome. Instead of doing that, you need to focus on what is within your means of control and do that. Everything else can wait. 

What this looks like:

1. Stop taking the initiative on everything. You end up bitter and filled with resentment because no one acknowledges you. If you know you only do it for the applause, do not do it at all, because when the applause doesn't come, you end up in your feelings. NEXT.
2. Release the desire to control what people say and do. Newsflash: you can't. If your man, your friend, your mom, whomever...wants to ignore you, do the opposite of what you request, betray you, there is nothing you can do to stop them. Learn to regulate access to you after betrayal. Forgive, make a decision on how to proceed and stop demanding that people change, do better, show up for you in a specific way. They will do what you allow and if they don't meet the standard, it is your job to regulate that, not theirs. Think about it: when you are speeding, do you call the police on yourself to request a ticket? Absolutely not. So why would the people offending you or bothering you be required to regulate that? It is your job to control yourself and your surroundings, not other people.
3. Don't be a hero. Learn to say no. Bonus points if you can learn to say no without feeling guilty. Do it often. Not to be mean, rude, demeaning, or inconvenient, but to keep yourself sane. If you know you can't or don't want to do something, say no in the moment instead of feeling obligated to say yes only to regret it later. 
4. Prioritize yourself every day. Make time for YOU. Stop leaving the house without pouring into yourself. Stop putting your needs on hold to accommodate everyone. If some things have to go undone or a proverbial ball has to be dropped so that you can tend to yourself, then let that be the case. The longer you put off your needs to take care of everyone else, the more you feel out of control and undervalued and the more likely you are to explode. 

I know these are not the easiest things to implement, but they are SIMPLE. And if you do them, they work.

We talk more about this in the Womanhood Series. You can join the next session here. 

See you soon...please apply what we talked about!