Women Should Gatekeep Themselves

Being an open book is not being of service. It is being a fool. It is subconsciously a sign that you do not respect yourself. 

Thinking that it is a requirement to allow everyone access to you is ruining your experience as a woman. No one deserves access to your entire life and no one needs to know every detail of what happens to you. 

Women need to gatekeep themselves. This is a thought I reflected on as I reread The Old Money Book. There is a section on privacy, and although it is not written for women specifically, it can be applied. 

This has nothing to do with keeping your favorite brands a secret, although there are elements of your physical womanhood and femininity that you should not share. Keep that perfume or special scent to yourself. Don't share where you got that special article of clothing that is a signature part of your wardrobe. Sure. All of that, but what I am referring to here is the deep things. 

As stated in The Old Money Book by Byron Tully: "It is difficult for others to disrupt, sabotage, or voice their opinion about something they don't know about."

Being offended or upset that someone has an opinion about you or your life after you gave them the invitation to have one might qualify as insane. It is simple: if you don't want people to have commentary, do not disclose it. 

It is similar to discord online surrounding famous people and influencers. The idea that people should leave them alone is just that, an idea. Unfortunately, what we display for the public is open for public ridicule and conversation. It's not right, but it is reality.

As a regular person, you have more privacy and less difficulty maintaining it. This means being careful not to mention private matters or things that you do not care to have commentary on. This goes for in person and online. Tully writes: "The personal information and photos you've posted online are there forever. This is something to consider when you think about new relationships, college applications, and job applications."

Not only is your personal life impacted, but you can also be held accountable professionally based on something you posted online. It is not too late to scrub the internet of unfavorable things, but there is no guarantee that what you have put out is gone forever. Someone somewhere may still have a record. 

Even as a content creator I am careful to discuss topics and not my life. I speak on motherhood, being a wife, a woman of God, but I am not the creator that will give details and commentary on my personal life. I do not need to expose myself in order to teach and make a point. 

You can be vulnerable and transparent without broadcasting all of your business. Find the happy medium.

When you choose to disclose something you welcome discord. You also welcome (whether you specifically consent or not-your consent is implied by you posting) opinions of other people. What you wear, what you believe, how you look, and anything else applicable, can and will become a topic of conversation. 

This means that you will have to either be comfortable with any and all discord, because even when you present yourself well, someone will always have an opinion. If this bothers you, do not post it online, whatever it may be. 

Regarding your real life, you should carefully consider whether or not to express certain thoughts and ideas when in the company of others. You will land yourself in less drama if there is no drama. 

It is better to allow people to make assumptions based on limited information and things they have to guess, than for them to conclude based on what you have actually disclosed. 

You will save yourself unnecessary heartache and frustration by learning to keep your mouth shut. 

I posted a YouTube video on this topic. You can watch it here.