3 Things Every Woman Should Learn in Their 20s

Women who get more confident with age do so because they have grace with themselves, but also because they learn from life's mishaps.

It is rare to have a wealth of wisdom and understanding in your teens and 20's, but if you grasp these 3 things by the time you hit 30, you'll be able to live a fulfilling life, one without regret. 

The one thing I will not list here, that should be implied is a relationship with our Heavenly Father, the Most High God. That is the most important aspect of living a fulfilled and purposeful life. I talk a lot about this and the reason is because that is the source of everything that I have learned and come to understand.

That being said, the first thing you need to learn is how to gatekeep yourself.

This does not mean never telling the girlies where you get your lip gloss and sunglasses. This is deeper than that. You want to gatekeep information, aspects of yourself, and more importantly, your body and your presence. 

Women get worn out and overburdened because of the way that we overextend ourselves. Being the go-to person for everyone in your life is an ineffective and pointless practice. Lending our services to people is not the only way that we overextend. 

We also have a terrible practice of oversharing. We say too much to too many people and then regret it when the information is made public, shared with people we did not intend to know, or is even used against us in an unfavorable way. Keep it shut. 

The final aspect of this is to gatekeep your body and your presence. Evaluate your relationships. Does everyone need access to you? Does every friend you have deserve to be in your life? Does that man you are in a relationship with deserve to have you in his sheets? (the answer to this is always no if he has not made you his wife, because why are we offering ourselves up to be used and potentially carriers of babies without that commitment?)

Not everyone deserves access to your thoughts, body, ideas, and presence. Tighten that up.

The second thing you should know is that your hobbies matter.

No matter what adult commitments you have (work, husband, children) you should never neglect your creativity and fun. Doing so only leaves you feeling empty, unsatisfied, and likely, raging. 

To be clear, a hobby does not need to be monetized, and you do not need to be good at it. Think back to childhood. When you played, was making money the primary concern you had or were you more concerned with frolicking and having a good time just because? Find that in adulthood and don't let it go. You may have a few hobbies and maybe you're a constant hobby hopper, not married to any particular thing. All that matters is that you have one. 

Do not let anything overcome you so much that you don't have play time and fun as a woman. 

The third thing you should know is that your worth is not determined by what you can do for others. 

This is why gatekeeping yourself matters. 

If we continue to convince ourselves that we are only worthy of love when we are busy at work serving others, then we fall into the void of being overly accommodating of others. Then we don't limit access as needed to our time, energy, body, spirit, etc.

Of course you need to be of service at times. Of course you need to be giving and loving. But choosing to step away to be of service and support to yourself, to honor God, or even to rest does not make you any less worthy. 

If you are struggling with your womanhood, I encourage you to start with these three lessons and watch your life change.