Why I’m Okay With Cutting Ties When Your Kids Are “Too Grown” for Mine

A Message from One Mama to Another

I know this may sound harsh at first, but hear my heart. As a mother, I’ve had to come to terms with something: not every family can walk closely with mine, especially when it comes to our children. If your kids are “too grown” for mine, I may have to create distance. And I don’t say that from a place of judgment, pride, or superiority. I say that from a place of protection.

Let me be clear about what I mean when I say “too grown.” I’m not talking about girls wearing age-appropriate lip gloss or boys wanting to wrestle, climb trees, or help their dad mow the lawn. I’m not anti-maturity, and I’m certainly not anti-growth.

What I’m referring to is a loss of innocence: a rush to adult behaviors, conversations, and ideologies that our children were never designed to carry so young.

I’m talking about:

• Children who mock or question the faith that we are raising ours to believe in.

• Kids who casually talk about dating, body parts, or use language that no child should have picked up at eight years old.

• Friendships where secrets are shared in whispers, and parents are “the enemy” instead of the God-given authority they were meant to be.

• A home environment where lying to children (like stories about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy) is seen as “fun,” even though we are trying to build a foundation of truth.

• An unregulated home environment where children are allowed unrestricted access to any and everything, including certain music, media and social media apps

I know it may not seem like a big deal to some, but as for me and my house, we are raising our children to walk in the light. And light and darkness do not mix.

Childhood Is Only 15 Years

Let that sink in. Fifteen short years. That’s it.

If the average person lives to be 80 years old, that means childhood takes up less than 20% of our lives. But those early years? They shape everything.

I believe God designed this season to be full of wonder, play, learning, and yes, innocence. Not in a bubble, but in a covering. A childhood rooted in safety, love, and the freedom to just be a child...without pressure to grow up too fast, without being exposed to trauma that wasn’t theirs to carry, and without the world whispering lies into their ears about who they are and what they should be.

That means I guard who my children are around. Even other children.

This Is Not About Perfection

No child is perfect. Not mine, not yours. They will all make mistakes, have big feelings, and get it wrong sometimes. But when I see a pattern of behavior, a consistent difference in values, or an influence that causes my children to become anxious, confused, or defiant, I have to make a decision.

Love says, “I’ll still pray for you.”
Boundaries say, “But we can’t do playdates right now.”

It’s not personal. It’s parenting.

The Hard Part of Motherhood

Setting boundaries like this isn’t easy. Sometimes it means uncomfortable conversations. Other times, it’s just a quiet step back. But I refuse to sacrifice the emotional and spiritual safety of my children for the sake of adult comfort or politeness.

I’m raising kingdom-minded kids. Kids who know they are loved by God, grounded in truth, and free to enjoy their childhood with joy and peace. And yes, I will fight for that, even if it costs me a few relationships along the way. Because to me, that is part of what motherhood is about. 

Hear my heart

Moms, we don’t have to explain or defend every boundary. But we do have to live them. Our children are watching. And more importantly, God is watching.

Let’s not be afraid to be set apart. Let’s not be afraid to say, “Not in this house.” And let’s not apologize for giving our kids what the world refuses to offer them: a childhood covered in truth, love, and innocence.