What All Young Women Should Know

The way we navigate life is an indicator of how much we love and respect ourselves. When we make poor decisions, it can either be that we do not care about ourselves or we do not know. 

The problem is we still have to live out the consequences of the decisions we made in ignorance, so not knowing or lacking awareness cannot be an excuse. 

If you are a young woman, one of the worst things you can be in life is ignorant. Although we often say that ignorance is bliss, for a woman, it can be detrimental, even fatal. Often times we willingly overlook things to keep the peace or to get the thing that we think we want only for it to come back and show itself as an ugly set of consequences. 

There will never be a time where we know everything and can exist perfectly without ever making a mistake, but when we learn to seek and heed the warnings of wise counsel, we can always be prepared and a few steps ahead. 

Here are 3 things every young woman should know:

There is no need for you to be foolish and wild because you are young. 

Youth is a beautiful thing and when we are young is the best time to explore and take risks, but those risks should not include the miscalculated and foolish risks pertaining to casual sex, drug use, or jeopardizing your future in any other compromising way for a few minutes to hours of a good time. 

Instead of spending your time exercising your freedom to be wild, take a chance on being impressionable. The same energy and excitement you have for the reckless habits and practices we often equate with being young can be used to secure a better future and more stability for you. 

When you are young, you can be molded. You are more flexible. You often have more energy. Imagine using that to fuel your future self. Direct that energy to your internship where you can bring fresh ideas and collaborative efforts. Direct that energy toward creating an organization that will build lasting change. Use the ability to suffer long nights with no harm to your functionality to build something, work toward your future, finish those grad school applications, or even start a business. 

Instead of sabotaging yourself by allowing men to use you for your body or making silly avoidable mistakes, consider the ways that you could be moving in the direction you've always dreamed of as quickly and efficiently as you can.  

Visualize the potential consequences of the choices you make while you are young and learn to steer clear of the ones that have any potential to impact you only negatively.  

The world will not respect you, if you do not respect yourself

If you do not love and respect yourself, people can tell. They will push the boundaries, and they will take advantage of the situation. As a result, you will always be a victim, shamed or guilted into doing something you do not want to do. This is not always the result of someone acting maliciously, we all have a tendency to try to get what will benefit us in any given situation. 

Setting boundaries and maintaining standards is the easiest way to display your self respect. It starts with you. Love yourself enough to honor your commitments. Respect yourself enough to keep your word. 

This also applies to the way you present yourself to the world. Your grooming, wardrobe choice and even makeup and hair communicate more than you expressing yourself through conversation. People can tell how you feel about yourself by the way you are presented. Showing up clean and well-groomed will always quietly communicate that you value and honor yourself (even if you struggle with your self-esteem).

It is important to consider the relationships you maintain when learning to respect yourself. Having friends and romantic partners who do not love and respect you is a major red flag. You should be so good to yourself that you do not wreak of desperation so that other people can leech off and take advantage of you. This becomes easier when you do learn to respect yourself, because you naturally repel or sweep these people out of your life. 

Excuses do not absolve you from responsibility

Excuses make us feel more comfortable for not delivering on our promise or commitments. When you make an excuse, you are asking for grace for not completing a task you already agreed to. In making an excuses, whatever you have failed to deliver still needs to be done. You called out because you overslept? The work still needs to be done, the boss is just aware that you will be late because you overslept. You canceled on your hair client because you were sick? They still need their hair done.

The problem is not that we have excuses, it is that we believe an excuse gives us freedom from the situation. A responsible person knows it does not. 

What we have to learn to do instead giving an excuse and then washing our hands of the situation is to pose a solution when we fall short. If you have clients that you have to cancel on, connect them to a service provider that can take care of the problem for them. When we remember that people just want solutions, we can remember that even in our own suffering and when we do provide an excuse, there needs to be a solution. Be the person who provides a resource when you cannot perform the duty yourself. 

Do away with the need to say "yeah but" and replace that with "here is what I can do." It will change your life and the quality of your relationships. A small tip to consider here is to NOT commit to things you are incapable or unwilling to do in the first place. 

The role of a young woman can feel heavy. The world is always telling you what to look like, how to act, how to dress, and even suggests careful ways to degrade yourself in order to advance, but if you learn to be impactful, respect yourself, and stop living in your excuses you will improve your life in the long run.