Shacking Up with Kids? Let’s Talk About Why It’s Time to Get Married

So… you’re living together. You’ve built a life, you’ve got the babies, the bills, maybe even matching towels—and yet, there’s no marriage license in sight.

Let’s talk about it. With love. With truth. With real grown-up wisdom.

Because sis (or bro), if you're doing everything that looks like marriage—but without the covenant—there are some serious things to consider. Especially if you’ve got little ones watching.

From a Biblical Perspective:

Let’s get straight to it:
God never designed intimacy, cohabitation, or family outside of the covenant of marriage.

Hebrews 13:4 says,

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

That’s not judgment—that’s divine order. God established marriage to protect, cover, and bless the family. Living together without marriage leaves you spiritually uncovered. It’s like building a house without a foundation and hoping the storm won’t come.

God honors covenant, not convenience.

From a Logical Perspective:

Even if you set the Bible aside for a minute, let’s just talk grown folk logic.

1. Would You Want Your Kids to Do This?

You’re teaching your children—by example—that a family without commitment is normal.
Ask yourself:

• Would I be okay with my daughter having a baby with a man who won’t commit to her?

• Would I want my son to believe it’s okay to enjoy all the benefits of a wife without ever making her one?

What you model becomes their mindset.

2. What Are You Waiting For?

You’re not unsure. You haven’t broken up. You’re still doing life together.

So... what’s the holdup?

• Are you “waiting for the right time”? (There never really is one.)

• Are you “seeing where it goes”? (It’s already gone—to shared rent and shared kids.)

• Or are you quietly keeping your options open—just in case?

Let’s be honest:
If someone can live with you, sleep with you, raise kids with you, but still avoid marrying you... that’s not love—that’s fear, comfort, or convenience.

And deep down, you know it.

3. Your Relationship Has No Legal Protection

If something happens—death, separation, financial fallout—you're exposed.
Marriage isn’t just spiritual; it’s legal structure. Cohabitation doesn’t protect your assets, your children, or your rights.

Love is emotional. But legacy is legal.

"But What if Marriage Messes Things Up?"

Some couples fear that “making it official” will somehow break what they have.

Here’s the truth: Marriage doesn’t break things—exposure does.
If something crumbles under the weight of commitment, it wasn’t solid to begin with. That’s not a reason to avoid marriage—that’s a reason to heal and grow before entering it.

Marriage isn’t magic, but it is intentional.
And without intention, you’re just playing house.

So Now What

If you’re living together with your boyfriend or girlfriend and raising children, and you know you’re not going anywhere—then it’s time to stop delaying what God has already called you to do.

Marriage isn’t about having a “perfect” relationship—it’s about honoring the one you’ve already built.

Don’t let another year go by living under the same roof but out of alignment.

Pray. Seek wise counsel. Have the real conversation.
And if the love is real—put a ring on it, make it holy, and cover your house the way God designed it.

Shacking up may be common—but it was never God’s best.
It’s time to step into covenant. Not just for you, but for your children, your legacy, and your obedience.

Love is beautiful. But love with structure? That’s where the blessings flow.