If God’s Only Talking to You About Everyone Else, You Might Be Missing the Point

We love saying “God told me.”

But here’s a hard question: When’s the last time God told you something about you?

If all your divine downloads are about your husband’s lack of leadership, your friend’s toxic behavior, or your church’s broken systems, but God’s never bringing your own heart into the conversation, you might not be hearing as clearly as you think.

It’s possible you’ve tuned your ear to conviction for everyone else and gone spiritually deaf when it comes to yourself.

Let’s unpack that.

1. God Doesn’t Gossip. He Shepherds

Yes, God reveals things. He gives wisdom and discernment about people and situations. But that’s not His only mode of communication...and it’s rarely His first.

When you’re constantly hearing God “tell” you about other people but never about your own pride, fear, or habits, something’s off. That’s not discernment. That’s deflection. 

God doesn’t gossip. He convicts. He corrects. He shepherds. And good shepherds don’t just point out the wolves, they guide the sheep.

If all your spiritual insight is horizontal (about others), and never vertical (about you and God), it might be time to ask: Is God not speaking? Or am I only listening when it's about someone else?

2. You Might Need to Soften Your Heart

If your heart is hard, God’s voice will sound like background noise, or worse, it’ll sound just like your own opinions.

Hard-heartedness looks like defensiveness. It shows up as spiritual pride. It convinces you that the problem is always “them” and rarely “me.” And it’s incredibly subtle. You can be serving, praying, even reading the Word... while ignoring the fact that your spirit is closed off to correction.

Psalm 139:23 says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”

Not: “Search my spouse.” Not: “Search my pastor.”
Search me.

If that’s not a prayer you’ve prayed lately, maybe it’s time.

3. Reflection Isn’t Rebellion. It’s Repentance

When God speaks, it’s never just to inform. It’s to transform. He doesn’t waste words. So if He’s showing you something about someone else, it's usually connected to how you're called to respond, not how they need to change.

Spiritual maturity is marked by self-reflection. It’s not rebellious to ask God, “What do I need to see about myself here?” In fact, that’s often the beginning of real breakthrough.

Because sometimes the problem isn’t what they’re doing.
It’s how you’re reacting.
It’s what you’ve let fester.
It’s how you’ve neglected your own posture while obsessing over theirs.

God wants to talk to you about you. But He won’t shout over your pride to do it.

4. Be Careful Not to Weaponize the Voice of God

When you consistently believe God is speaking to you about others but never about you, it becomes easy to use His voice as a weapon.

You begin issuing warnings instead of invitations.
You become the spiritual authority in your head and everyone else is the problem.
Before long, “God told me” becomes a holy way of saying, “I’m right.”

That’s dangerous territory. The Spirit of God convicts in love. He doesn’t stir up control, arrogance, or superiority. While there are some exceptions to this such as hearing from a speaker who is not talking directly to you (a prophet, a pastor, a video online), it is generally true that conviction should not be messy. It should be stern and with love, but understand sometimes it is tough love. And that's okay too. 

A good question to ask:
Are my “revelations” making me more humble, or more entitled?

God speaks. But if you can only hear Him when He’s speaking about everyone else, you might not be listening with a heart that’s ready to change.

He wants to guide you. Refine you. Heal you. Shape you. But He’ll only speak to the parts of your heart that are open to hearing Him.

So today, ask yourself:
When’s the last time God convicted me?
What was the last hard truth I let Him speak into my soul?
Where have I been closed off, while claiming to be discerning?

And then pray this:
“God, speak to me about me. Search me. Clean me. Change me.”
Because that’s where the real transformation begins.