4 Ways to Feed Your Marriage: How to Feed Your Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful yet challenging journey. When we first say “I do,” we envision a lifetime of joy, companionship, and partnership. However, as the years pass, the demands of life, work, and family can make it easy for a couple to lose sight of the connection that brought them together. The good news is that a marriage can flourish even amidst the busy seasons of life—if both spouses are intentional about nourishing it.

For Christian women, there is a unique opportunity to feed our marriages with the qualities that not only bring us closer to our husbands but also glorify God. The biblical principles of appreciation, gratitude, encouragement, and forgiveness are powerful tools that can strengthen any relationship. By actively practicing these principles, you can foster a marriage that thrives in love, trust, and mutual respect.

Let’s dive into how these four qualities can nourish your marriage, creating a bond that is rich in both spiritual and emotional health.

1. Appreciation: Cultivating a Culture of Honor and Respect

Appreciation in marriage goes far beyond just saying "thank you" when your spouse does something kind or helpful. It’s about cultivating a culture of honor and respect—recognizing the value in your husband and showing him that you see his worth every single day.

The Bible teaches us that marriage is a partnership of two becoming one, and it’s essential to appreciate each other as unique individuals with different strengths, weaknesses, gifts, and roles. In 1 Peter 3:7, we are instructed to treat our husbands with respect: “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” When you actively show appreciation for your husband—his work, his character, his faith, his love—it strengthens your marriage and glorifies God.

Small acts of appreciation go a long way in showing that you see the effort your spouse puts into the marriage and into his role as your husband. Whether it’s a heartfelt note, a sincere compliment, or simply saying, “I appreciate you,” your words can be a powerful reminder that your husband’s contributions matter and are valued. Even in the midst of conflict or challenging times, taking a moment to appreciate your spouse for the person he is can soften your heart and remind both of you of your shared commitment to one another.

2. Gratitude: Acknowledging the Blessing of Your Marriage

Gratitude is a key element in keeping the heart of your marriage soft and tender. It’s easy to take each other for granted, especially in long-term marriages where the daily routine can become monotonous. Yet, it’s essential to remember that marriage itself is a gift from God. The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Gratitude shifts your focus from what might be going wrong to all that is going right. It’s about recognizing the many blessings in your marriage—whether big or small—and expressing thankfulness for the things your husband does and for the partnership you share. Gratitude opens the door to deeper connection, as it creates an environment of positivity and contentment.

Take time to reflect on the aspects of your marriage that bring joy, peace, and fulfillment. Thank God for the shared experiences, the memories, and the journey you are walking together. When you express gratitude for your husband—whether for his faithfulness, his love, his hard work, or even his patience in difficult moments—you reinforce the bond of trust and admiration.

Expressing gratitude doesn’t have to be reserved for special occasions or milestones. In fact, making it a daily practice can transform the atmosphere of your marriage. Whether it’s a simple “thank you” for a loving gesture or a more intentional prayer of thanksgiving, expressing gratitude reminds both of you that your marriage is a blessing that should be cherished.

3. Encouragement: Building Each Other Up

As Christian women, we are called to encourage one another, and that includes our husbands. Encouragement in marriage is about building each other up, especially when life’s struggles threaten to tear us down. We can use our words and actions to lift our husbands up, just as the Bible encourages us to do with all believers.

In Hebrews 10:24-25, we are urged to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Marriage should be a safe place where both spouses feel supported in their dreams, ambitions, and personal growth. Encouragement fosters a sense of security and confidence in your spouse, knowing that you are behind them, cheering them on, and believing in them.

Every person, no matter how strong, will experience moments of self-doubt, insecurity, or discouragement. As a wife, you have the opportunity to be a source of encouragement during these times. Speak life into your husband’s dreams and goals. Let him know that you believe in him, that you admire his strengths, and that you are proud of who he is.

Sometimes, encouragement can come in the form of listening. When your husband faces challenges or difficult decisions, being an empathetic listener and offering support can be just as powerful as giving verbal encouragement. Showing that you’re present, ready to listen, and willing to support him can strengthen your emotional connection and deepen your relationship.

4. Forgiveness: Letting Go of Hurt and Restoring Peace

Forgiveness is one of the most essential ingredients in a healthy, thriving marriage. The reality is that all couples will experience hurt, misunderstandings, and even betrayal at some point. But God calls us to forgive—just as He has forgiven us. In Ephesians 4:32, we are commanded to “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Marriage requires forgiveness—not just once, but continually. It’s important to remember that we are all flawed individuals. Our husbands, no matter how well-intentioned, will make mistakes. When we choose to forgive, we allow our marriage to heal and move forward. Holding onto resentment and bitterness only poisons the relationship, creating distance and disconnection.

Forgiveness does not mean ignoring the hurt or pretending it didn’t happen. It means choosing to release the offense and offering grace, just as Jesus offers grace to us. It’s important to approach forgiveness with a heart of humility, acknowledging that both spouses contribute to the dynamics of the relationship and that we all need God's grace.

As you forgive your husband, also remember to ask for forgiveness when you’ve made mistakes. Marriage is a two-way street, and the act of asking for forgiveness can strengthen the bond between you. By creating a habit of seeking and offering forgiveness, you create an environment where both spouses feel safe, loved, and understood.

Feeding Your Marriage in Action

While it’s one thing to talk about appreciation, gratitude, encouragement, and forgiveness, it’s another thing entirely to put these into practice consistently. Here are a few practical ways to incorporate these principles into your daily life:

• Daily Affirmations: Start your day with a word of appreciation or gratitude. This can be a simple compliment, a thank-you for something your husband has done, or a prayer of thanksgiving for the marriage you share.

• Intentional Acts of Kindness: Show your love through small gestures. Make your husband’s favorite meal, leave him an encouraging note, or take time to pray for him.

• Creating a Forgiveness Culture: When conflict arises, approach it with a heart of forgiveness. Practice saying, “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” with sincerity. Let go of past mistakes, and move forward in love.

• Listen and Be Present: Take time to actively listen to your husband’s thoughts and concerns. Encourage open communication and be his support system when he needs it.

• Pray Together: Make prayer a regular part of your marriage. Pray for each other’s needs, for wisdom, and for God’s guidance in your relationship.

A strong, thriving marriage isn’t something that happens by accident. It requires intentional effort and a willingness to nourish it with the qualities of appreciation, gratitude, encouragement, and forgiveness. As Christian women, we are called to love and serve our husbands as Christ loved the Church, showing them honor, grace, and support.

When we commit to feeding our marriages with these essential elements, we create a relationship that not only survives but flourishes—one that brings glory to God and deepens our love for one another. Through the ups and downs, remember that your marriage is a sacred bond, and by investing in it with love and care, you are honoring God’s beautiful design for marriage.