How to Erase Mom Guilt for Good

You think because you are a mom you cannot live your life with excitement. You think it means you have to give up everything you have ever loved or enjoyed. 

While you do have to sacrifice and be willing to be flexible in your schedule and decision making in order to accommodate your children, you do not have to allow your womanhood to die as a result of having children. 

You can be a great, active and present mom, while also maintaining a fulfilling and satisfying life of friendship, love and laughter. 

This is not an encouragement to be in the club every weekend, it is an encouragement to outline time and space for the things you enjoy, whatever they may be. Then learning to plan and strategize so that those things can become a reality. 

The Illusion of Not Enough Time

We say that there is no time for us to enjoy ourselves and to do the things that we enjoy, yet we spend hours each week piling our children into the car for practices, rehearsals and everything else they may be involved in. Should you cut all extra curricular activities? Absolutely not. However, there should be some understanding that if you can save the space and time for your children, you should be willing to do so for yourself.

You may be thinking, what if there are so many activities that there really is no time? If your children are involved in multiple activities, they will be FINE if you cut back on something so that you can have time to get things done, or to simply enjoy the quiet of your home in peace. There will be time to explore activities throughout their entire life, but if the cost of well rounded children is a deflated and overwhelmed mom, is it worth it?

My challenge to you is to consider if you are overextending yourself. If you are, how do you stop? Where do you draw the line? How do you reserve space for yourself?

What About Help?

A common issue in motherhood is not having help to be able to do the things we enjoy. This is a reasonable concern. Often times as a mom, if there is not a large community of people to support you, you have to buy it or create it. Even if you can only afford a couple of hours a week for a sitter, it is worth it. If you have to build your community of people over time, it is worth it. If you have to drive the children to your mom's house instead of her coming to you, it is worth it. 

You may not realize the impact of the time you spend alone until you are allowed to have it. That time allows us to recharge and gives us the opportunity to be alone with our thoughts or even have a good time with a friend. This is how we prevent resentment and build up of bitterness. 

This is a form of self care and preservation. 

While you may have mom guilt and feel as though you are selfish for taking time to yourself, you should do it anyway. The guilt can be silenced by the excitement and satisfaction that you feel when taking care of you. 

If you are a mom, you deserve time to yourself. You deserve a break. I am challenging you to take it.