Dear Husbands: 10 Things Your Wife Wishes You Knew

As a wife and mother, I can confidently say that most women don’t expect perfection from their husbands, although it seems that way sometimes. We understand that life is busy, responsibilities pile up, and communication isn’t always easy. But there are a few things we deeply wish our husbands knew, understood, and embraced about us. So, husbands, here’s an inside look at what your wife might be thinking but hasn’t put into words.

1. We Need to Feel Seen and Appreciated

It’s not about grand gestures—it’s the small things that matter. A simple “thank you” for managing the household, taking care of the kids, or handling the unseen emotional labor goes a long way. Feeling valued makes us want to keep giving our best to our families. (Just like you love that feeling of appreciation and encouragement from us)

2. Listening Is More Important Than Fixing

When we vent about our day, we don’t always need solutions. Sometimes, we just need you to listen, acknowledge our feelings, and say, “I hear you.” That alone makes a world of difference. We know you can solve problems, but sometimes we just need to be heard.

3. Romance Shouldn’t End After Marriage

We know life gets hectic, but we still want to feel pursued. Surprise dates, small love notes, a random hug—these things remind us that we’re not just roommates raising kids together. That dying fizz and lack of intimacy that you experience can be turned around quickly with a little energy and effort. It doesn't always have to be expensive, either.

4. We Need Help Without Having to Ask

It’s exhausting to delegate every task. Notice what needs to be done and take initiative—whether it’s dishes in the sink, kids needing help with homework, or the trash overflowing. Sharing responsibilities without being asked makes us feel like we’re a team.

5. We Crave Emotional Connection Just as Much as Physical Affection

While physical intimacy is important, emotional intimacy is just as crucial. Engaging in meaningful conversations, showing empathy, and making us feel emotionally safe strengthens our bond more than anything else. AND turning up the emotional connection makes us want to be more physically intimate.

6. Parenting Should Be a Partnership

We love that you provide, protect, and guide, but parenting is not just about discipline or financial support—it’s about being present. Being involved in the daily aspects of our children’s lives means everything to us. The kids notice, too.

7. Our Mental Load Is Heavy

Beyond work and parenting, we juggle remembering doctor’s appointments, school schedules, grocery lists, and family events. Recognizing this invisible workload and lightening the burden makes us feel supported.

8. We Want to Be Your Safe Place Too

We know you carry stress, expectations, and pressures. Don’t shut us out—let us in. We want to be the person you trust, confide in, and lean on just as much as we lean on you. Open up to us. 

9. Time Together Matters More Than You Think

We don’t expect constant attention, but prioritizing quality time—even if it’s just sitting on the couch talking after the kids are asleep—keeps our relationship strong. Intentional time together means more than big vacations or expensive gifts, although we like those, too.

10. We Love You More Than We Probably Show

Life’s demands can make it easy to forget to express love daily. But please know that even when we’re stressed, tired, or preoccupied, we love and appreciate you deeply. Sometimes, we just need a reminder that you feel the same way. (If you are a wife reading this, tell your husband you love him-you cannot say it too much).

Marriage is a journey, not a destination. We don’t expect perfection, but we do long for effort, understanding, and connection. Husbands, you matter to us more than words can say, and the smallest shifts in awareness can make a big difference in how we feel loved and valued.