Allow Your Husband to Parent

Allowing Space for Dad: A Conservative Mom's Perspective on Parenting

As a conservative mom, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my parenting journey is the value of allowing my husband the space to be an active, engaged parent. This principle not only strengthens our family bond but also aligns with the teachings of Scripture and the wisdom found in books like The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle.

Embracing Partnership in Parenting

In many families, there can be a tendency to assume that the mother should take the lead in parenting decisions. This is truly a new idea with our modern society and has continued to be accepted by women who were raised by single women. While it’s true that mothers often bear the brunt of day-to-day care, allowing our husbands the freedom to step in and parent can create a more harmonious home. Ephesians 5:21 instructs us to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." This mutual submission is key to fostering a partnership in parenting.

In The Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle emphasizes the importance of relinquishing control and trusting our husbands. When we allow our husbands the space to make decisions and engage with our children, we empower them to be the fathers God intended them to be. This doesn’t mean stepping back entirely but rather creating a supportive environment where both parents can thrive in their roles.

Trusting Their Instincts

One of the most profound insights from Doyle’s book is the necessity of trusting our husbands’ instincts. Each parent brings unique strengths and perspectives to the table. For instance, while I might approach a situation with a nurturing mindset, my husband may provide a different, more adventurous, or even stern, perspective. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” By allowing him to engage with the kids in his way, I not only support his role as a father but also contribute to our children’s growth by exposing them to different approaches.

The Power of Space

Creating space for our husbands to parent involves more than just physical space; it requires emotional space too. This means stepping back during those moments when we might be tempted to intervene or correct. It’s about letting them handle situations their way, even if it looks different from how we would approach them. In doing so, we show our trust and respect for their capabilities.

This principle resonates deeply with the biblical idea of love and respect found in Ephesians 5:33, where it instructs husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands. When we give our husbands room to parent, we demonstrate respect for their role, which in turn fosters a deeper love and appreciation between us.

Strengthening Family Bonds

Allowing space for our husbands to parent not only benefits our relationship with them but also strengthens the bond within our family. Children thrive in an environment where both parents are actively involved and engaged. When they see their father participating in their lives, it builds their confidence and nurtures a sense of security.

In The Surrendered Wife, Doyle mentions that surrendering does not equate to weakness but rather a willingness to trust and encourage our husbands in their roles. This act of surrender can lead to richer family dynamics and more fulfilling relationships.

Parenting is meant to be done by two

As moms, embracing the idea of allowing our husbands space to parent can be a transformative experience. By trusting their instincts, creating emotional and physical space, and fostering partnership, we not only uplift our husbands but also enrich our family life. 

Let us remember the wisdom of Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” When both parents are involved in this training, our children benefit from a well-rounded upbringing filled with love, respect, and support.

In this journey of parenting, let’s encourage one another to create homes where both mothers and fathers can flourish in their unique roles.